Theres only 1 thing in life I regret and that's not being able to hug my grandma one last time before she died. It's been almost 5 months since she passed and I still cannot stop thinking about her. I just wish I didn't let life get in the way and I had gone to see her before she died. An entire month I didn't visit her and theres no excuse for that. I use to visit her EVERYDAY and then because i didn't want to face the fact that she was dying i stopped going to see her and now that kills me. I know everybody misses her but i was so close to her. I can't even begin to tell you how much she means to me.
I miss not being told off for whistling cause "girls are't supposed to whistle" It annoyed me so much everytime she said it but now i'd love to hear it just one more time.
I miss making her laugh. Everybody always said i was the only one that could cheer her up. I just want to see her smile one last time.
I miss her kisses. She always made sure i kissed her everyday before i left and it was not fun but now i wish i could kiss her once more.
I miss all her cooking. I know i complained lots of times cause it wasn't the greatest but it was nice knowing she cared enough to cook for me.
I miss her teaching me how to bake/cook.
I miss going places with her.
I miss her daily phone calls.
I miss our get togethers on Christmas eve. It was very rare that everybody showed up but last Christmas everybody DID show up.. everybody except me because i had to work. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I didn't know it would be my last christmas with her.
Every year i have to live with the fact that she died 8 days before my birthday. I didn't get to thank her, for everything she's done for me.
I've never had to deal with death before, sure i know lots of relatives that have died but i always pretend it never happened or push it into the back of my head but i cant this time. My grandma was my life. Theres so much stuff i want to show her but now I can't.
I've spent this entire day crying my eyes out because i just miss her so much